Having been a sound engineer for many years, I have inevitably come across situations which have struck me as amusing.  You might enjoy some of the following experiences, all of which have happened either to me or to colleagues.

1. Immediately upon leaving the stage, before the sound man had a chance to mute her radio mic, an actress shared the information with her colleague – and the audience – ‘It’s so hot tonight, my knickers have gone right up my bum’!
   
   
2. The leading lady’s radio mic transmitter suddenly ceased to function.  Upon investigation, we found that she had tucked it into her knickers and had then forgotten about it.  When she visited the toilet, the transmitter dropped into the bowl.
   
   
3. Revenge – tell actors who have no experience with radio mics that, once they’ve been fitted, the actor must not visit the toilet, as the whole audience will be able to hear.  If they say 'But can't you control the sound' you say 'Yes - and as soon as I see you heading towards the toilet, I'll make sure I turn it up!'
   
   
4. We once had power to the desk switched off during a performance.  As it was a digital desk, once power was restored (which happened within about a minute) we were still without sound for around another 3 minutes while the system rebooted.
   
   
5. How many times are the sound crew asked to make lighting changes?!
   
   
6. We were asked at the technical rehearsal whether there would be a microphone behind the pros arch.  On being told that there would, the director said ‘Good, because there’s one number where the cast will be singing while facing the back of the stage’.  He seemed quite surprised that pick-up might be less than optimum!
   
   
7. (Several times)  A cast member forgets to put on the transmitter for his radio mic and leaves it, switched on, in the dressing room.  If the sound man is not vigilant, he could share all sorts of confidential information with the audience!
   
   
8. We were providing sound for live bands and there would also be a disco.  To save the disco operator from having to rig his PA as well, we offered to put his signals through our rig.  To be sure we had enough power, we asked him the rating of his PA.  He said ‘I don’t know anything about that.  I just plug it in and it works.’
   
   
9. We supplied a female vocalist with a standard (Shure) SM58 mic.  She said she was used to working with a ‘better SM58’.  After several minutes of talking at cross-purposes, we discovered that she meant a Beta SM58!
   
   
10. Just before curtain-up, the wardrobe mistress came to ask if she could borrow my socks.  It seems the leading man had turned up without any.
    
    
11. (Several times)  You ask a (young and inexperienced) band what their line-up is.  First they look at you blankly.  Then realisation kicks in.  ‘Oh, we have the drummer in the middle, Joe and I stand either side of him.’  ‘No.  What do you play?’  ‘Well, we usually start with a couple of cover numbers, then….’  
    
    
12. During one theatrical performance the leading lady, for no reason known to the sound crew, decided to reposition her mic such that it would barely pick up her voice.  When told to reset its position she flounced off in such a bad mood that she missed her next entrance.
    
    
13. In the days of VHF radio mics, it was not unknown for a transmission from an AmDram performance to be picked up in a church several hundred metres away.  Conversely, we had an electioneering speech from a local political party meeting careering around the theatre.  Although that problem has largely disappeared with the advent of affordable UHF mics, the backstage crew still check every night to ensure that their headsets are not on the same channel as the local swimming pool.

Last modified: 06-11-2009